Regret

I was trying to find old friends on the Facebook when I chanced upon a cousin who's already based in Canada. I checked out her friends' list without knowing that I was in for a surprise. Among her friends is another one of our cousin who had just passed away a month earlier. It was actually more akin to shock. Looking at the picture of this vibrant young person who's just starting to take on the world, the regret of not having cherished the relationship started to wash over me again.

幸福

幸福看起來那麼簡單
眼看就要有了
為什麼突然間
變得那麼遙不可及呢

-陳欣怡
命中注定我愛你，第二十二集

Happiness looks so easy to achieve because it's there right before your eyes, but how could it become so unreachable in a blink of an eye?



*photo courtesy of http://www.ttv.com.tw/drama08/destinylove/image.htm

我愛的人

video courtesy of jackle0322


我愛的人
作詞：施人誠　作曲：周杰倫　編曲：吳慶隆

我知道故事不會太曲折　我總會遇見一個什麼人
陪我過沒有了她的人生　成家立業之類的等等

她做了她覺得對的選擇　我只好祝福她真的對了
愛不到我最想要愛的人　誰還能要我怎樣呢

我愛的人　不是我的愛人
她心裡每一寸　都屬於另一個人
她真幸福　幸福得真殘忍
讓我又愛又恨　她的愛怎麼那麼深

我愛的人　她已有了愛人
從他們的眼神　說明了我不可能

每當聽見　她或他說「我們」
就像聽見愛情　永恆的嘲笑聲


The title of the song is, The Person I Love.

I know that this story won't be all that bad
There will come a day I will meet somebody
Who will help me live a life without her
Get married and have a career

She made what she believed is a right decision
All I can do is to wish her well
I'm not anymore allowed to love the person I love the most
What more do they want me to do?

The person I love doesn't love me
Every inch of her heart belongs to somebody else
She's so happy that it makes me suffer
And it makes me love and hate how deep is her love for her lover

The person I love already love somebody else
From their eyes, I can see that I don't have a chance anymore
Every time I hear them refer to themselves as "WE"
I can hear love's eternal mocking laughter



*****

When I first heard this song (it was being sung in a singing contest), my heart broke into a million pieces. Don't get me wrong, it's not as if I can totally relate but the way the contestant interpreted the song (by the way he got a perfect score for this performance and eventually won the contest) , you cannot just feel the pain, you can almost touch it.

The Ties That Bind

Is blood relation enough to sustain
the bond that families have?
Or it needs more than the same name
for it to survive the test of time?
Is money really that important
for families to continually communicate?
Or the familial connection is enough
for the bond to tighten?

It really hurts to see how families are torn apart because of financial misunderstandings. Call me, idealistic, somehow I don't believe that money is the be all and end all of life. Ok, we need money to survive in this jungle, we call world, but can money buy the unconditional love and neverending concern lovingly extended by your family.

Actually, I never thought so much of the importance of family to my existence. I used to believe that your family is just there to complete the components in your family tree. (Yes, I was that bad, believe me!) But, something happened (Looking back at it now, it wasn't that bad but for a girl who just stepped into the real world, it was extremely traumatic) along the way, and it was just a heartwarming thing to feel the support and love of your so-called family that you had taken for granted from day one.

I'm not a showy/touchy person so it's not easy to say "I Love You" but I honestly do try to show my undying appreciation through gestures I know they'll understand.

It's sad that it usually takes a tragedy to bind families together. But it's sadder to only see your family's presence rather than feel them.

When It's Time To Say Goodbye

We were never really close, you and I,
But, somehow the bond that ties
was always there whenever we have the chance to meet
We didn't speak the same language
But everything was always clear with a smile
I was your big sister but I never had the chance to be one
Now the time has come for us to say goodbye
I can't think of the right words to say
Should I be sad that we've lost you forever
Or should I be glad that you're now free
from all that we've yet to go through in this lifetime

I'm catching my breath as I'm writing this
I can't allow the tears to fall
I don't want to feel the grief
I want to celebrate the life you had,
be it good or the other way
You lived, that's all there is to remember....

Memories of the little time that we're together
kept on flashing in my mind
If only, we got to know each other
maybe....
maybe I'll know for sure now what to say or do

Goodbye, my cousin....
Goodbye....